There are moments when you fully lose yourself in desperation and stop asking when or if it's going to end. It's part of not having a "home", of not 'rooting into any soil'...freedom becomes overwhelming.
Without a solid ground, you start questioning your existence, yourself, your beliefs. You feel as if you are nothing without a "home". You lose yourself in fear... you lose dreams, you lose hope , but above all you lose meaning.
You look back on the life you once had, desperately searching in the past to bring back meaning. You're exhausted by the time you realise that none of that no longer exist. You lose your last glimpse of hope right about now... You die inside a bit more, not metaphorically. You physically  feel as if whatever is keeping you breathing is slowly fading away. It's a feeling that very few people know, and even fewer can describe.
You know that nothing can bring you back. You don't believe in love, mercy, kindness. You know there are all fairy-tales and you don't belive in happily ever afters, you only believe in your own faith. But the world is taking that away!
You feel naked inside out. You're dead by now, your freedom is expanding even more- you're overcome fear. At this point, you know that even if the Gods decide to give you days you'll forever be "broken", a cynic, a hypocrite,  an outcast. You'll be dead among the living, but you'll be stronger for you no longer fear. Your freedom is absolute when you can die in any second. And what does that freedom bring you?! What does you power become?! Nothing. You are , you own, you dream of nothing... The Gods give you a blessing still: you smile at the fact that you are dead among the living, but one day thus two shall pass.
There are moments when you fully lose yourself in desperation and stop asking when or if it's going to end ....there are moments when freedom becomes overwhelming.