me again

• • I thought I did that already........I don't really know how to make it even simpler than that.
    I'll read through it again...but I think the best things to do is for you to tell me what are you confused about?
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  • I read through and it all seems pretty clear to me. But maybe this bit made your heart stop :
    
    I can keep my distance, although it's hard - kinda like quiting smoking :L . and we don't have to have a connection :L the river doesn't really need to find the sea if you want to put it that way. it'll just bent and go towards some new sea.
    
    This shall be then my attempt to clarify:
    1) Firstly it has nothing to do with sexual intercourse or the much hated, much stupidly drained of any meaning R word (Relationship)
    2) Secondly, this has nothing to do with me wanting or even implying I want the above mentioned things
    3)thirdly, now that you've probably calmed down I shall focus more on what I mean by connection. Remember I told you all those things about how 'the key to the bloody universe' is opening up and all that crap. to be fair, in many ways that crap applies to this world in ways that are beyond my power to explain. But that's not the point. When you open up, you don't just receive, you also give, hence you connect. that's just it. you're drawn into a web of connections that's existance at it's very core. and I shall stop there before going any further
• • 4)I am listening to Dancing Queen- can't believe Jordan has it! His mum likes Abba as well.
    5)Fifthly, to try and make it simpler. you meet people everyday. LETS JUST SAY FOR THE SAKE OF IT THEY ARE ALL EQUALLY COMPLEX :L but for some reasons, whatever these reasons might be, you are only drawn to some of them. in a sense that you can only get along with some of them. this whole bondage that you establish can be of very different natures and in the same time of very different depths. So far I've only described people interacting so problem there I HOPE
    6)My God I'm back to my childhood!
    7)Now. the way we bond and interact, to some extent, depends on every individual. you have many kinds of people in the world! and many kinds of interactions and modalities that are specific to each kind and so on. it 's hard to believe but it creates a pattern at some point and you realise people are really like sheep, the vast majority of them anyway, and they're obvious and predictable once you're good at these kinda things.
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  • From now on we shall, for the sake of conversation, concentrate on two rare types of people: my kind and your kind and switch the song to 'All is said and done'.
    ***bear in mind, you said I'm hopeless when it comes to music so from here forth I shall listen to whatever junk I please and let the prophets of music culture crucify me between the likes of Polish Disco and dancehall
    
    As I was saying, for the sake of this conversation, we shall pick me and you as two representative examples of our own category. We both belong to pretty rare categories, nonetheless we are not alone.
    I guess you know us well enough - me at least- to kinda sum up how differently we interact and how striking we are in terms of what makes us who we are.
    But that doesn't really stop my kind in particular to want to connect with your kind. It' been like that ever since the world was made I think. there's even a Buddhist story I very much liked about it.
    it's strange, it doesn't have to be rule of course, but it applies to this specific case so that's why I even said it. lets just say Fins are amongst Anas' favourites , for reasons that needn't be mentioned or went into ( see 1 and 2). We just bond with your people despite the fact that it's very difficult for us.
• • My kind was always a fan of strong connections, deep ones, true ones, very open ones. It just has and I am as well. I don't do superficial, at least not for long, I have connections, I know a lot of people, I go through them to even more people, but I have very few friends. and once my friend, you're always my friend otherwise you're a name of the long list of people I've met along my way. that's how it goes. and that's how it's going to go. pretty much we're fine -anyone we meet can become a friend, anyone we meet can be just a name, things can also change, to us and to me in particular it's all the same it doesn't really matter.
    But when people like me meet people like you, it begins to matter in a sense that we begin to care what you are to us. we want you to be friends not just names...it's really strange and it doesn't make any sense ... foe reasons again that I won't go into. Of course it doesn't have to happen, frankly, it rarely does but that's not the point. the point is we wish and we want it to happen.
• • so, we don't have to be friends is what I'm saying. if you don't want to, if my way of trying to impose things and a rhythm to all this, and move things in a certain direction aren't what you want or just simply get on your nerves it's ok. you don't have to
• • and I can tone it down, although it's hard BECAUSE i AM IMPATIENT . that's what I meant.
    None of this had to lead to anything.... I told you once that I have a theory about when people like you and me meet they either grow through each other they either kill each other :L on a larger, more metaphorical scale, I wasn't joking. I WAS WRONG though. it's both. it always leads somewhere, it's not just killing time. it's a deeper kind of bondage, a deeper kinda connection, a something different from you ordinary, everyday social interaction.
• • I don't know how to explain this any further.....if it's still a mess and makes no sense, just drop it. I don't think I can be any more ( and in the same time less ) clear.