12 lunch by the AIDS memorial

-Do you feel like talking now?
    I hesitated before I gave him an answer.
-No....I'm not quite ready yet.
-Alright.
-How are you doing?
-Nothing much. Laying in the bath tub, drinking beer and eating crackers. The usual July Sunday afternoon...not that I really expect you to remember how 36 degrees feels like.
-To be honest, it's about 20 now and this is one of the hot days.
-I forgot how the wind feels like.
-...Are we really going to talk about the weather?
-We can talk about your day if you don't like the topic of weather. Although I thought it was a British fashion.
-My day?
-Yeah. You know like those conversations where you make a list of the actions that occurred between the moment you woke up and the present moment adding things that you consider to be relevant. Of course for my sake you can even leave out the things that are irrelevant.
   I pause a bit. I don't really know if he's being who he thinks I want him to be of just being his mourning self.
 -Ok. The phone woke me up at 12 30.
-I'm guessing it was your'carer'.
-...Yes.
-Well go ahead.
-...I thought that was irrelevant enough already.
-No. I'll stop you when we reach that point. Carry on.
-I went downstairs and made us some coffee as he made us lunch. He told me we were about to go eat in the park so I put it all in thermos mugs. I wasn't really awake so I followed him there the whole way. We got into the park, he stopped at a place he likes, sat down and I fallowed him throughout. We sat down and had lunch by the AIDS memorial.
-Why there?
-It happened to be behind us.
-Were you talking?
-Not until we finished eating. He might not seem like it, but he's the kind of person you can enjoy a comfortable moment of silence with.
-Good. Then what?
-We began to talk as we smoked. Nothing too important, just everyday stuff, a few jokes, some healthy laughter to start the day. After we finished our cigarettes he got up and left for work. I stood there a bit finishing my coffee. I probably had a few more fags. Then I picked up after ourselves and went back.
-What did you have to eat?
-...Does it even matter?!
-Yes.
-....Sandwiches.
-Sounds nice. Actually I wouldn't mind having that kinda life.
-Yeah it's not bad.
-Then what did you do?
-You seriously haven't had enough?!
-Well if you don't mind going on I wouldn't mind either.
   I was convinced by this point that he was trying to prove a point. And probably the best thing to do was to let him prove it.
-It was sunny so I decided to take my laptop with me, go down to the beach and read.
-...What?
-Murakami.
   He paused for a bit obviously mulling it over and making a list of conclusions he drew along the way.
-Which one?
-Wild Sheep Chase.
-Didn't you already read that one?
   It was my first Murakami book. I  was very sceptical when I first saw it. I remember looking at the guy with a very displeased glance, and I also remember I made it clear I felt really insulted. Little did I know that I was about to fall for Murakami like for no other before him.
-I thought I'd read it again before 'Dance Dance Dance'.
-Oh. So ..does it bring back the memories?
-It has a different feel to it. Probably because it's in English...and off a laptop.
-Fair enough. They're not really related you know?
-Who?
-The books.
-Oh. Well I figured it couldn't hurt.
-I guess it doesn't. How was the beach?
-Except for it being rocky, it was nice. A bit crowded since it was a sunny day.
-Figures.
-Why do you want to know all this?
-Because I'm your brother.
   Just like that. Without hesitation, without cushion. There was no question, no space for any arguments. Just like you breath in oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide, he was my brother.
-I'm fine. I'm not going to do anything 'stupid'.
-Yeah it sounds like you're perfectly fine.
-Don't you ever grow tired of sarcasm!?
-Do you ever grow tired of sarcasm?!
-....
-Anyway. I wasn't being sarcastic. By the looks of it you're perfectly fine. Except for the voice.
-I'm fine.
-You should clear out your voice a little bit. Maybe drink some tea. Eat something and put a little more life into it. Then you'll actually be able to convince anyone that you are, without a doubt, perfectly fine.